Biggest disappointment eveeer

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I had difficulty containing my excitement two days ago when my bestfriend sent me “Allegiant”, the 3rd book of Veronica Roth’s bestselling series “Divergent”.

Waiting for two months was just agony, it was almost unbearable. Good thing my work at the office distracted me from counting the days, hours, minutes and even seconds that passed before the release of this most-awaited final installment of the series.

The many sleepless nights of fangirling, keyboard smashing and high-pitched screaming were all worth it when finally, I had Allegiant in my hands.

Well, that was two days ago. Two freaking days ago.

Now I cannot even bear to reread the book nor even look at it. Just two days ago I could not let it out of my sight, but now I, I can’t even… I’m too darn disappointed with this one. This book affected all of my positive thoughts on the whole series.

It was not as exciting as the first two books “Divergent” and “Insurgent”. There were too many boring parts, too many explanations. I actually planned on finishing it that night I started reading it but I got too sleepy. Yawn.

And that ending. Don’t even get me started on that too depressing, trying-too-hard-to-be-epic ending. I know I’ve prepared myself for that ending (there were too many spoilers on the internet) but the way Roth wrote it, I just… I just could not help but cry a thousand rivers and lakes and seas. It was actually the first time I balled my eyes out for a book. I can’t even…

SPOILERS (You might want to get out of here if you have not read Allegiant)

But somehow, at the back of my mind, I had always known something like that would happen. I think it was why Roth had to write Allegiant in two POVs — so that the second protagonist (I don’t know if I’m using the right term here) can still continue with narrating the story even if, in any circumstance, the main protagonist (again, I’m not so sure about this term) dies at the end. 

TSSS.

I apologize if my words are all over the place. I’m honestly having trouble writing this blog post as my emotions are still unstable. I haven’t really moved on from Allegiant.

I wonder if I’d still be interested to watch the Divergent movie when it comes out in March 2014.

TSSS.

Excuse me but I think I better go use my keyboard smashes now…

IN CAPSLOCK…

ASJLDJDHNXHDHELSJDUEHEHDKDBDBDKAKAKHSHHJSB
XBBMCJDJDHHSKAJSHKALAHSHSJSKLALAK

I’m still not feeling any better. Uh. I need a hug. T_T

Outta here

Signed up for something I never thought I’d be doing, not in a million years. Had actually planned to leave home after graduation, get a job somewhere far far far away, be as independent as ever. But no. All dreams of flying away from the nest have been crushed like crushed pineapples in a can. I’m still living at home with my parents. Interesting, yes? Well, so much for flying away…

Too many reasons for wanting to move out of parents cradle. But these reasons are challenged with questions like, “Why would you want to leave home when you have everything you need here?”. Yes, I couldn’t agree more. Everything is free of charge. Parents always say “Hey daughter, household expenses are on us, you don’t need to take out a single penny from your pocket!”… And as much as I love to hear that from dear sweet parents, I don’t plan on living this kind of life for the entirety of my existence. I have to live on my own.

I want to get a job without their help. I want people to make friends with me because of me, not because of my being “the professor’s daughter”. I long to be free from this cage that have kept me locked in for 21 years. I yearn for my own identity, hoping that one day people would refer to me as Steph, the crazy childish kid who loves to fangirl over sexy fictional characters (curse you Veronica Roth!). TSSSSS.

I’ve had enough of this comfort zone. It’s now decided. I’m getting out of here before the year ends. Fingers and toes crossed.

But then again, after having over-analyzed the situation for the nth time, I think my reason for getting out of here might be my only easy ticket to actually getting out of here.

It doesn’t make sense but it has a bit of sense into it. PFFFT.